"Where is the Love?" New York Times Op-Ed Column

The New York Times

 

Op-Ed Columnist

 

Where Is the Love?

 

By Nicholas D. Kristof

 

Published: November 27, 2013

     When I’ve written recently about food stamp recipients, the uninsured and prison inmates, I’ve had plenty of pushback from readers.

     A reader named Keith reflected a coruscating chorus when he protested: “If kids are going hungry, it is because of the parents not upholding their responsibilities.” A reader in Washington bluntly suggested taking children from parents and putting them in orphanages.  Jim asked: “Why should I have to subsidize someone else’s child? How about personal responsibility? If you procreate, you provide.”

     After a recent column about an uninsured man who delayed seeing a doctor about a condition that turned out to be colon cancer, many readers noted that he is a lifelong smoker and said he had it coming.  “What kind of a lame brain doofus is this guy?” one reader asked. “And like it’s our fault that he couldn’t afford to have himself checked out?”

Such scorn seems widespread, based on the comments I get on my blog and Facebook page -as well as on polling and on government policy. At root, these attitudes reflect a profound lack of empathy.

     A Princeton University psychology professor, Susan Fiske, has found that when research subjects hooked up to neuro-imaging machines look at photos of the poor and homeless, their brains often react as if they are seeing things, not people. Her analysis suggests that Americans sometimes react to poverty not with sympathy but with revulsion.

So, on Thanksgiving, maybe we need a conversation about empathy for fellow humans in distress.

     Let’s acknowledge one point made by these modern social Darwinists: It’s true that some people in poverty do suffer in part because of irresponsible behavior, from abuse of narcotics to criminality to laziness at school or jobs. But remember also that many of today’s poor are small children who have done nothing wrong.  Some 45 percent of food stamp recipients are children, for example. Do we really think that kids should go hungry if they have criminal parents? Should a little boy not get a curved spine treated properly because his dad is a deadbeat? Should a girl not be able to go to preschool because her mom is an alcoholic?

     Successful people tend to see in themselves a simple narrative: You study hard, work long hours, obey the law and create your own good fortune. Well, yes. That often works fine in middle-class families.  But if you’re conceived by a teenage mom who drinks during pregnancy so that you’re born with fetal alcohol effects, the odds are overwhelmingly stacked against you from before birth. You’ll perhaps never get traction.

     Likewise, if you’re born in a high-poverty neighborhood to a stressed-out single mom who doesn’t read to you and slaps you more than hugs you, you’ll face a huge handicap. One University of Minnesota study found that the kind of parenting a child receives in the first 3.5 years is a better predictor of high school graduation than I.Q.

     All this helps explain why one of the strongest determinants of ending up poor is being born poor. As Warren Buffett puts it, our life outcomes often depend on the “ovarian lottery.” Sure, some people transcend their circumstances, but it’s callous for those born on second or third base to denounce the poor for failing to hit home runs.

     John Rawls, the brilliant 20th-century philosopher, argued for a society that seems fair if we consider it from behind a “veil of ignorance” — meaning we don’t know whether we’ll be born to an investment banker or a teenage mom, in a leafy suburb or a gang-ridden inner city, healthy or disabled, smart or struggling, privileged or disadvantaged. That’s a shrewd analytical tool — and who among us would argue for food stamp cuts if we thought we might be among the hungry children?

     As we celebrate Thanksgiving, let’s remember that the difference between being surrounded by a loving family or being homeless on the street is determined not just by our own level of virtue or self-discipline, but also by an inextricable mix of luck, biography, brain chemistry and genetics.  For those who are well-off, it may be easier to castigate the irresponsibility of the poor than to recognize that success in life is a reflection not only of enterprise and willpower, but also of random chance and early upbringing.

     Low-income Americans, who actually encounter the needy in daily life, understand this complexity and respond with empathy. Researchers say that’s why the poorest 20 percent of Americans donate more to charity, as a fraction of their incomes, than the richest 20 percent. Meet those who need help, especially children, and you become less judgmental and more compassionate.

And compassion isn’t a sign of weakness, but a mark of civilization.

A version of this op-ed appears in print on November 28, 2013, on page A31 of the New York edition with the headline: Where Is the Love?

Nebraska Law Enforcement Shoulder Patches -- Cities and Sheriffs

Check out my photobucket library of Nebraska Law Enforcement shoulder patches.  This is my growing collection of NE police and sheriff departments; new and old.

http://s1080.photobucket.com/user/36tex/library/Nebraska%20Law%20Enforcement?sort=4&page=1

Quote From "Hard Times" by Studs Terkel

     Here is an interesting quote from this book about the Great Depression:

"Today you're made to feel that it's your fault.  If you're poor, it's only because you're lazy and you're ignorant, and you don't try to help yourself." (page 47)

It seems sad that this is still the belief many harbor.  While I do not believe all people who receive government aid are deserving, I also cannot believe all receiving government aid are abusing the system.  For the record, I do support drug testing for those who seek government aid.  The question is, do we drug test ALL members of our society that receive government assistance?  Would that include farmers, CEO's of tax free corporations, and etc?  The welfare system in America does not need to be ended, but the system does need to be enforced and revised.

The Many Hats of My Life

Here is a list of "hats" I have worn over the course of my life so far:

1) Teacher (American History; World History; Geography; Sociology; Psychology; Economics; Government; Civics; Business Law)
2) Coach (FB; BB; Track)
3) Police Officer
4) Football Player
5) Basketball Player
6) Track Athlete
7) FBLA President
8) High School Graduate
9) College Graduate
10) Bartender
11) Body Guard
12) Security Officer
13) Bus Driver
14) Class Sponsor
15) Mock Trial Sponsor
16) Husband
17) Father
18) Museum Employee
19) Writer
20) Farm Worker
21) Rendering Plant Employee (yep, it was stinky!)
22) Volunteer Fireman
23) Mentor
24) Brother
25) Son
26) Service Station Employee
27) Collector
28) CNA / Orderly

That is it for now, I need to think some more!

The Pains of Teaching

     Once again today I was forced to deal with the sad part of teaching.  I have had to deal with the deaths of students, the heart-break of seeing students have hopes and dreams crushed by "adults" who cheaply use words like "It is for the kids" when they really mean "It is for some of the kids", and having students withdrawn from a school where they have created a life.

     This is to the young girl who left today.  Be assured that you will be missed and I am saddened by the turn of events.  I am sorry you had to deal with these issues in your young life, but life can be cruel.  You will always have someone at OHS wishing you the best in your life.  You will be successful because you have dealt with the road-blocks life has thrown at you thus far.

Monty Python - "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" Lyrics

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...

...always look on the bright side
of life...(Whistle)

Always look on the light side
of life...(Whistle)

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
- that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright
side of life...(Whistle)

Come on.

Always look on the right side
of life...(Whistle)

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain
with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the
audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance
anyhow.

So always look on the bright side
of death...(Whistle)

a-Just before you draw your terminal breath...(Whistle)

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see its all a show, keep 'em laughin as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

And...
Always look on the bright side
of life...(Whistle)

Always look on the right side
of life...

C'mon Brian, cheer up

Always look on the bright side
of life...

Always look on the bright side
of life...

Worse things happen at sea you know.

I mean - what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing.

Always look on the right side
(I mean) of life...

what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
- you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost?

Always (Nothing.) look on the right side of life...

Nothing will come from nothing ya know what they say?
Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin!
There ya go, see!

Always look on the right side of life...
(Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin! At same time)

There ya go, see!

Christmas Story; Greatest X-Mas Movie Ever Made!

I love this movie!

    I received this in an email from a friend.  Don't just read it, but think about each line.  Maybe it is just my chosen career that I so get this.

He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.

And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew where of he spoke.

But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For ol' Joe has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Veteran died today.

He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.

He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Veteran died today.

When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.

Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young,
But the passing of a Veteran
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?

The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.

While the ordinary Veteran,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.

It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever-waffling stand?

Or would you want a Veteran
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Veteran,
Who would fight until the end.

He was just a common Veteran,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his likes again.

 

For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Veteran's part,
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A VETERAN DIED TODAY."

Yeah, Yeah, I know

this is so me!

The Disease of Me

In my many years of coaching, I have found many articles that have spoke to me.  Not only are these articles good for coaches and players, but are also wise words for all individuals to read.

…Many kids today don’t understand that basketball is a we game – not a me game. They play for the scorebook, not the scoreboard. They play for the name on the back of their jersey instead of the name on the front.

There are 3 symptoms of the ‘disease of me’ – each of which severely stagnates a player’s growth and development. These symptoms can be seen from players of every age and every level:

1. Too cool

2. Too good

3. Too shy

Too cool:

This symptom is rampant… in fact it is a borderline epidemic. Players are too cool to listen when a coach is talking, too cool to show enthusiasm during drills, too cool to warm-up properly, too cool to get on the floor for a loose ball or take a charge, and too cool let the people around them know that they don’t understand something or need some help. Players are often more concerned with “how they look” then “how they perform.” To paraphrase Woody Harrelson in White Men Can’t Jump – players that are too cool would “rather look good and lose than look bad and win.”

Too good:

This symptom is tricky… because it is actually an illusion. The players who think they are too good – actually aren’t! They aren’t anywhere close to being good enough, much less too good! They are so hypnotized by their ranking, or brainwashed by their entourage, that they won’t admit they have areas of their game that need improvement. They are too good to work on their left, too good to work on their footwork, or too good to work on their mid-range game. Who needs to be able to do those things when you can dribble between your legs 19 times in a row or dunk the ball with ease? Players that are too good are often shoot 1st, pass 2nd type players. Actually, they are usually shoot 1st, shoot 2nd, and don’t pass type players. They never bother with making those around them better.  If a teammate can’t hold their own on the court… that is their problem.

Too shy:

This symptom is complicated as well. I don’t know if I would go as far as to say that being too shy is selfish per se; but being shy does stunt improvement. You have to be assertive if you want to get better! You can’t be too shy to ask questions. You can’t be too shy to reach out and ask for help from your coach. You can’t be too shy to verbally communicate on offense and defense. Most kids aren’t shy when it comes to texting, Twitter, and Facebook… but they quickly go into a shell when expected to speak face to face.

If you are trying to be the best player you can be… to maximize your potential and play at the highest level possible… you can’t be too cool, too good, or too shy. You need to find a cure for the “disease of me.”

By Alan Stein

Problems When School Leaders Listen Too Well

(Originally titled “Can You Listen Too Well?”)
 

            “Good leaders solicit input, they welcome feedback, and they take the time to hear what is being said,” says Missouri principal Thomas Hoerr in this thoughtful article in Educational Leadership. He makes a point of conducting surveys, frequently checking in with staff, students, and parents, understanding why people feel so strongly about some topics, and appearing unhurried so people are comfortable initiating conversations. But is it possible to listen too well? Yes, says Hoerr:

            • Paying too much attention to a vocal minority can make it seem louder and more powerful than it really is. We have to “recognize the smoke without assuming there’s a fire,” he says.

            • “Waiting for everyone to be on board means you’ll spend more time waiting than doing,” says Hoerr. Leaders should proceed when there’s a critical mass of support.

            • “If we’re not careful, our good listening techniques (eye contact, affirmative nodding, and a singular focus on the speaker) are interpreted as agreement,” he says. We need to make clear where we stand.

            • If we’re overly receptive, people will constantly vent and complain and make us miserable. 

Hoerr believes it’s a good idea to say up front, “Before you go any further, is there something you want me to do or is this just for me to know?”

“Can You Listen Too Well?” by Thomas Hoerr Educational Leadership, November 2013 (Vol. 71, #3, p. 86-87), www.ascd.org; Hoerr can be reached at trhoerr@newcityschool.org. 

     I found the first listed item of interest.  It seems this is one of the main problems we see in the world today.  A vocal MINORITY makes others believe that they are the MAJORITY!  This is the same concept of "the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

Catholic Education No Better Than Public Schooling, Study Suggests

By By Tia Ghose, Staff Writer 22 hours ago

 

    Catholic schools don't provide a better education than public schools, at least when it comes to basics like math and reading, new research suggests.  Children at Catholic schools don't improve their math or reading scores on standardized tests across elementary school and don't show better behavioral outcomes than public school children, according to the study, which will be published in a forthcoming issue of the Journal of Urban Economics.  "Across many outcomes, both academic and behavioral, we don't find anything that seems to point to a real benefit of Catholic schools over public schools," study co-author Todd Elder, an economist at Michigan State University, said in a statement.

 

Early edge

      Many an adult remembers sitting through classes taught by Catholic priests and nuns, and more than 2 million children are currently enrolled in one of 6,700 Catholic schools across the country, according to the National Catholic Educational Association.  Past research found that Catholic school children outperformed their public school peers in reading and math, making it seem on the surface that parochial education was a better bet. But those studies didn't track children from the very beginning of their educations.  Elder and his colleague Christopher Jepsen, an economist at University College Dublin in Ireland, analyzed the test results of more than 7,000 students who participated in the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study: Kindergarten Class of 1998-99. The children were followed in kindergarten, first grade, third grade, fifth grade and eighth grade.
The standardized test data revealed that Catholic school kids' edge starts at the very beginning, when the youngsters are just a few weeks into kindergarten.  "What you see is that the kids who go to Catholic schools are much, much different the day they walk in the door than the kids who go to public schools," possibly because they come from a higher socioeconomic background, Elder said.
 
No gains

     But the Catholic school participants didn't improve their scores over time. For instance, the average math scores of the Catholic schoolchildren fell from 62 percent in kindergarten to 57 percent in eighth grade. During the same period, average math scores for children in public schools rose from 47 percent to 49 percent. Reading scores were virtually identical.  "There is no difference in reading scores between Catholic school students and public school students once we account for differences in family background and other factors — 1 percentile point at most," Jepsen told LiveScience.
      And behavioral outcomes weren't significantly different either: Catholic school children had roughly one day fewer of absence but one more tardy than public school children in fifth grade. Catholic schoolchildren were only 5 percent less likely to have been suspended in eighth grade, and both types of schools have similar rates of grade-repetition, Jepsen said.
Elder speculates that Catholic schools pay their teachers less and thus may attract poorer teachers — Catholic schoolteachers nationally earned an average of $35,730 compared with an average of $51,660 for public school teachers.  Another possibility is that public schools have a better curriculum.  Of course, many parents don't send their children to parochial schools for superior education. Instead, they want their children to get religious or moral instruction, which the new study didn't measure, Jepsen said.

Ownership of Me

       "In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me – everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone choose it – I own everything about me – my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.  I own fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears – I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.  Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me – by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts.

     I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know – but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

     However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me – If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.  I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.  I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me – I own me, and therefore I can engineer me – I am me & I am okay."

Virginia Satir

Albert R. Hunt
Company E
142nd Infantry Regiment
36th Infantry Division

Fatherhood

     It has been several years since this picture was taken.  One of my regrets in life is missing my son growing up.  I spent so much time coaching and working with other children that I missed his early years.  I look at him today and could not be prouder of what he is today.  His mother did an excellent job of raising him in my absence.  I hope I can make up for that lost time.

American Education

     I believe education in the U.S. would be better if we switched to a system where students can track towards vocational careers or white collar ones.  Students that want to be a mechanic or carpenter would be better prepared for their careers if they had more focus in high school in those areas.  Some would say those students need English, math, science, etc and therefore would need to be in those classrooms.  I would argue that all of those subjects could be covered in a mechanics class.
     The students with interest in these areas would be better off with this system.  Those who want to be doctors, lawyers, etc would be better as more focus could be placed on making them better students.  It would be a win - win situation.
     I have heard others ask what about the student who chooses a vo-tech path and then change their mind.  I do not see a problem.  Very rarely is someone going to switch from a auto mechanic to a surgeon.
     This plan would improve education and America as a whole.

Thoughts, Rants, and Randomnist!

     It seems I need a place to write down my daily thoughts, rants, beliefs, and other random things.  So this will be that place.  Topics will generally be on educational, political, social topics but there will also be a variety of other things.  Use this as an opportunity to stay in tune with my life and re-examine yours.